The Split Read online

  “Look out!” I shriek.

  Pete jabs at Derek, who deftly moves out of the way and delivers a hard blow to Pete’s stomach. Unfortunately, though, this allows Pete inside Derek’s defenses. Upon the biker’s second jab with the knife he strikes Derek in the side, causing the wounded man to let out a painful cry and stumble backwards as Pete advances upon him.

  Painfully aware of where this is headed, I immediately spring to my feet and grab a thick plank of wood that’s been leaned up against the alley wall. I swing it as hard as I can at the back of Pete’s skull and with a deafening crack he goes down, immediately crumpling up into a ball on the ground.

  I throw my arms around Derek, who’s happy to see me but winces in pain as our bodies meet.

  “You’re hurt.” I say, pulling back and looking down at the blood that oozes from beneath his shirt.

  Derek laughs. “Can’t a guy go a day without getting stabbed in a fucking back alley?”

  “Come on.” I say, helping him out of the alleyway and away from the groaning men, who remain in various stages of consciousness on the hard cement ground. “You need help.”

  I pull out my phone as we walk and dial nine-one-one.

  9

  After finishing our brief statements for the police, Derek and I sit quietly on the back steps of the ambulance who’s crew, thankfully, managed to fix him up quite swiftly and easily. The stabbing missed anything vital by a long shot, bouncing off a rib bone near the surface of Derek’s chest.

  The two of us are exhausted but happy to be sitting together, and I can tell the feeling is mutual as Derek wraps his arm around me and pulls me as close as possible, without putting too much pressure on his carefully bandaged wound.

  I lean my head against the handsome man’s board shoulder and take in his now familiar, masculine scent.

  “I’m glad you called me.” I tell Derek.

  “I’m glad I got here when I did.” He says, staring off into space. The two of us have gone through the wringer over the last few days, which I suppose is to be expected as far as relapsing goes.

  “I need a break.” I finally say.

  Derek chuckles to himself. “You’re telling me. It’s been a hard couple of days.”

  I know all too well what he means, and I instantly regret putting him through all of this. Everything bad that has happened since we met has been my fault, a series of events brought on by my lust, envy, and a seemingly endless string of bad decisions.

  “I don’t know what to do with myself.” I tell him, my voice cracking as I struggle to hold back my tears. “I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m turning into someone else and I’m afraid that I can’t stop it.”

  Derek pulls me even closer to him and looks down, flatly ignoring the pain from his fresh wound. “What happened?”

  I know that I can’t tell him everything, that at this point it’s just too crazy and, frankly, too dangerous to let anyone else know what a powerful, and destructive, person I’ve become. “I’ve relapsed.” I tell him, the most I’m willing to admit just yet.

  “Is that why you’re out tonight?” Derek asks.

  It burns my soul to consider what he’ll think of me after I tell him, but I know how important it is to take inventory of my own mistakes. “Yes.” I admit.

  Derek is silent for a moment, and then opens himself up to me, as well. “I’ve relapsed too. I need help but I can’t go back to the group.”

  “Trouble with Tara?” I ask, already knowing the answer to my own question.

  Derek nods. “We’re not together any longer.”

  “Oh.” I say, struggling to sound surprised. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  We watch as Pete is taken away in handcuffs, pushing back against the police officers are they force him down into the back of their cruiser. He’s spitting and swearing, completely out of control.

  I lower my head in shame.

  “Why did you call me tonight?” I ask Derek.

  He let’s out a sigh. “I don’t know. I mean, I guess I know why, but it sounds stupid.”

  “Try me.” I tell him.

  Derek pulls his coin out of his pocket and starts flipping it. “You want to know the secret of being a good gambler?” He asks.

  “What’s that?”

  “Not believing in anything. No god, no ghosts, no magic… but especially no luck.”

  “But you talk about luck all the time.” I counter. “Or risk, at least.”

  “And there’s the difference.” He says with a chuckle. “It’s fun to think about, to pretend that there are these forces at work outside of ourselves pulling all the strings; The magic dice that can turn it all around when you’re down and out. It makes for great stories, but it’s not real.”

  “Doesn’t sound like much fun to me.” I tell him. “What a sad world.”

  “Fair enough.” Derek says. “But, if you want to make money playing cards or shooting dice, the first thing you need to do is throw away everything you know about luck and start thinking about strategy.”

  “Okay,” I answer. “I get that, but what does this have to do with you calling me?”

  “That night at the diner.” Derek says. “When we were talking. I felt this connection and, honestly, I don’t understand it. I don’t believe in magic, but there’s magic in the air when we’re together.”

  Again the tears start welling up in my eyes, but instead of sadness and disappointment, they represent a welcome relief. “I felt it too.” I tell him.

  “Maybe magic is real.” Derek says. “Maybe love is.”

  A slow smile creeps across my face, realizing that something good is finally blooming in the horrific wreckage of my life.

  We’re silent for a moment before Derek suddenly lets out a loud laugh at his own internal joke.

  “What was that about?” I ask him.

  “I need to get my shit together.” He tells me. “Look at me.”

  “Me too. Oh my god, me too.” I start laughing with him, unable to do anything else in the face of my own absurdly devastating downfall. “So what’s the plan? What do we do?” I ask him.

  “Skip town. Dry out for a bit.” Derek tells me.

  As good as that sounds, being alone with this man who I’m so viciously attracted to might not be the best thing for my sexual sobriety. Of course, if there’s one thing that Tara was able to teach me, it’s that my plight is not about abstaining from sex, it’s about abstaining from random, meaningless sex.

  It may be newly blossoming, but there’s no way that what Derek and I have going on between us is meaningless.

  “It sounds dangerous.” I tell him. “Where would we go?”

  “Vegas.” Derek informs me, causing me to scoff loudly.

  “Even more dangerous! You honestly think we should get clean and figure our shit out in sin city?” I laugh.

  Derek shrugs. “What better way to fight a lurking monster than to take it head on?”

  The guy has a strange, maniacal logic to him, I’ll give him that.

  “Besides.” Derek continues. “It’s not like I’m lacking in finances, but I’ve got so many comps left over from my years throwing money around in that town, I could probably live in Las Vegas free of charge for a decade.”

  “Vegas it is.” I tell him. “When do we leave?”

  Derek thinks about this a moment. “Do you need to call in to your work?” He asks.

  “No.” I shake my head. “I think they fired me. I’m not really sure.”

  Derek starts to laugh again, so hard this time that he’s forced to release me from his grip and clutch his side, in an attempt to quell the pain. “Your life really is falling apart!” He jokes.

  I try to stifle my grin but I can’t. “So when do we leave?” I ask again.

  Derek stands up from his seat on the edge of the ambulance. “Right now.”

  I sleep the entire way as Derek drives through the night, flying across the open desert between California and Nevada like a bat ou
t of hell. In some ways, a bat out of hell is exactly what we’re hoping for, and escape from the jaws of vice before it’s too late. Of course, most people would argue that Vegas is even more of a hellish urban landscape than Los Angeles, but Derek assures me that, with his connections, we’ll be finding ourselves in a situation that’s far from sinful.

  I try not to project too far into the future, but in my deep drifting sleep I let my thoughts wander. Maybe we could even find real, true love.

  When I awaken we’ve arrived at the front entrance of a towering, behemoth-of-a-hotel and casino. It’s around one thirty in the morning.

  “We’re here.” Derek says. “Don’t worry, you can go right up into the room and go to bed. I’ll handle everything down here.”

  I nod at Derek in a tired haze and climb out of his flamboyant sports car, then look up at the sparking letters that stand before me in flickering neon yellow, ‘The Grand Mayan Casino’.

  I’ve heard about this place but never stayed here, the facilities resting several income brackets out of my price range.

  Almost immediately, someone approaches me and takes my bag out of my hands, while another hands me a room key.

  “Already?” I ask, dumbfounded. “That was quick.”

  “They know me here.” Derek answers, just head on up, I’m gonna take care of a few things. You can have the room near the balcony.

  Too exhausted for anything other than getting into the nearest comfy bed possible, I take my room key and stagger through the giant front doors of the casino, immediately met by a barrage of loud ringing and flashing lights. The air is sweet and perks me up almost immediately, as if pumped in and circulated with the express intent of exciting my senses.

  Still, this madness is no match for my devastating fatigue, and I immediately head for the nearest elevator. Maybe Derek is right about heading for the heart of the monster and facing our vice head on, because the last thing I want to do right now is make bad choices.

  The elevator ride is quick, and almost immediately I find myself transported to an entirely different space, more akin to an ultra modern spa. There is a small hallway with only two doors, one on either side.

  I use my room key and push the door open, revealing the most gorgeous hotel suite that I’ve ever seen. The main living quarters are the size of middle class families entire home, with a giant winding staircase jutting up through the middle like a corkscrew. Behind it lies a beautiful view of the Las Vegas strip, complete with a wrap around deck and an infinity hot tub that appears to cascade endlessly over the edge.

  I take it all in for a few moments and then I cross over towards a door located off to the side of the balcony, which I can only assume is my room. Sure enough, when I open it up there is a beautiful king sized bed waiting for me. I let out a glorious sigh of relief and then immediately strip down, climb in, and pull the covers up tight.

  As I drift off to sleep I imagine Derek arriving at the suite and, despite our best efforts to take things slow, climbing into bed with me. I picture him kissing me all over, touching my body in ways that only someone desperately and passionately in love can. Nothing fake, and nothing held back.

  I know that Derek and me can figure all of this craziness out here in Las Vegas; together.

  “What the fuck?” Is the first think that I hear, jolting me suddenly out of my pleasant slumber. I open my eyes to see Derek standing in the doorway of my room, the morning sun shining beams of glorious light through my window.

  “What is it?” I mumble, “What’s happening?”

  It’s only then that I notice there are two other figures in bed with me, curled up on either side. I look down to see a man and a woman who, as far as I can tell, are completely naked.

  “Oh my god!” I say, sitting upright abruptly and waking my two sleeping partners.

  Derek’s expression is one of utter horror and complete disappointment, stunned and silent as my apparent lovers from the night before stir under the blankets.

  The woman next to me snuggles close and sleepily opens her eyes, but when she sees me she recoils in shock. “Whoa! What the fuck?”

  Suddenly, the man is awake, as well, and the entire room is thrown into a state of total chaos with me at the dead center.

  Derek just shakes his head and leaves, heading out of our room and, very likely, out of my life.

  “Derek! Wait!” I shout, but the confused bickering of the couple on either side of me drowns out the sound of my cries.

  10

  “Who are you?” The woman keeps shouting at me. “Where’s Alison?”

  The man is trying to get her to calm down but it’s not working and their fighting is giving me a splitting headache.

  Finally, I just can’t take it anymore, climbing out of bed and pulling on my clothes. “I’m sorry but the two of you need to leave right now.” I tell them.

  The man follows suit behind me, collecting several articles of his clothing that have been scattered around the room.

  My brain is throbbing deep within my skull, a splitting ache that could only have come from a night of severe drinking. I try my best to remember something, anything, about what occurred just hours before and how I ended up here dealing with the aftermath of an apparent threesome.

  “Come on, let’s go back to the room, Mary.” The man urges. “She was nice enough to let us stay in her suite last night, but we need to go now.”

  “She was?!” The woman yells, completely losing her cool. “Who the fuck is she? Where’s Alison?”

  It suddenly hits me what has happened, and the realization nearly causes me to buckle at the knees and collapse out of sheer, unbridled frustration. Alison Hyde took our body for a spin last night, causing me to relapse whether I wanted it or not. She’s growing stronger and stronger every day, and now she doesn’t even need to ask my permission, apparently.

  “I’m sorry.” I say, trying to calm the woman down. “I know this seems weird, but I’m Alison.”

  Mary scoffs. “I was drunk, but I wasn’t that drunk.”

  “I swear to you, I’m Alison.” I assure her. “But it doesn’t matter anyway, you both need to leave.”

  As I say the this man crosses the room over to Mary and tries to take her by the arm, but she’s having none of it, and immediately the woman takes a swing at him. She misses feebly. It suddenly occurs to me that it’s early enough for this chick to probably still be drunk.

  “What did you do with Alison?” Mary starts to shriek.

  “Calm down!” I tell her. “I’m Alison!”

  “No you’re not!” The woman cries. “Where is she?”

  Frustrated, and without anything else to think of doing, I suddenly will myself into an Alison Hyde transformation, my body morphing and shifting into this gorgeous new woman right before the couple’s very eyes.

  The room immediately gets quiet as the two of them watch me, their voices dropping and their faces turning from anger to awe and then, moments later, fear.

  “I’m sorry.” The woman says, her eyes transfixed on me as she grabs her clothes from the floor and, not even bothering to but them on, makes her way out the door.

  “Don’t be sorry.” Alison says. “How about another round before you go?”

  I suddenly freeze, realizing that, although the words may have come from somewhere deep within my body, they were not my own.

  “I don’t think so.” Says the man. The couple make their way out into the living room, clearly disturbed after witnessing my transformation, and when they are far enough away they turn and heard straight for the door, leaving without another word or even a look back over their shoulders.

  “What did you do?” I shout at Alison.

  “Took what I wanted.” She says.

  I fully understand that Alison is just me standing here in the middle of the room and talking to myself, but for the moment that’s real enough of a person to yell at.

  “We can’t do this anymore, it’s over!” I tell her as firmly as I ca
n.

  Alison scoffs. “Please. I’m the one who’s calling the shots now.”

  Immediately, I attempt to transform myself back into my original state, but the change simply won’t occur no matter how desperately I want it do.

  “Fuck.” I say.

  Alison laughs. “Exactly, I’d love a good fuck right about now.”

  “Please, no.” I beg. “We need to go find Derek and tell him everything.”

  “Derek?” Alison says in a mocking tone. “Why settle for one man when you could have them all?”

  I pause for a moment, grappling with the reality of what I’m about to say. “Because, I love him.”

  “Love is for suckers.” Alison tells me with my own mouth. “Let’s have some fun.”

  “The last time you wanted to have fun you got us in a lot of trouble.” I tell her. “Derek got stabbed.”

  “That’s only because you tried to stop me.” Alison says. “I suggest you don’t try it again.”

  I try to respond but suddenly I find myself unable to, locked out from using my own mouth. I now feel like I’m a passenger in my own body, traveling along in the head of a woman who started in my imagination and now lives and breathes like I do. Alison Hyde is the commander of the ship now, a nightmare in the flesh.

  Suddenly, I’m heading for the door, then out into the hallway and down the elevator to the casino floor. Once again, I find myself staring at my own reflection in the elevator door, the unfamiliar body of Alison Hyde staring back at me. Granted, it’s a beautiful body, but it’s not my own, and now the sight of her fills me with utter dread. Things have already gone way too far and now I’m free falling, unable to stop myself no matter how hard I try.

  As the elevator door opens I want nothing more than to go look for Derek, to find him and explain everything, but that’s not at all what happens.

  Instead, I turn and head deep into the rows and rows of slot machines, ringing and clattering all around me as people hit or miss their jackpots over and over again. Flashing lights guide my way, helping me navigate the isles as I scan the chairs for a suitable target.